Today is a sad day for me.. This is the 3rd anniversary when my baby was born into heaven..
Sept 20th, 2005 I lost my 3rd son Donovan to a miscarriage.
I was 12 weeks along..
I woke up on the morning of Sept 19th with spotting and mild cramping.. I called my doctors office and they said , it was common and not to worry, and to come in later that day for a sonogram..
I went there with Paul and my 2 boys thinking everything was "OK".. but the sonogram tech told me after about 20 mins of checking things out, that my baby had passed away at approx 11 weeks..when she said those words, I felt like I was hearing them, but wasn't, if that makes sense?.. My heart just sunk onto the floor, and I think for the next couple days I just sat staring at the wall in a daze...
It was a HUGE shock for us, and We were completely devastated!
They scheduled me for a D&C the very next day, so we went home and that night we prayed and prayed that GOD would bring him back ,
I woke up the next morning very early and was having contractions, these went on for several hours, and I started bleeding very bad, Paul rushed me to the ER and they took my into the Operating room.. when I woke up , my doctor said, that she didn't have to do a D&C to take the baby out, that all those contractions I was having was labor, and that I had delivered him.

It was Extremely difficult for me, It was sooo hard going home from the hospital with empty arms!!!!
And,this had happened just 3 weeks before my 30th birthday!
Each year, gets a little easier, but the sadness still comes this time of year for us.
I think one of the hardest things for me,along with MANY other things is the fact that I never saw , or held my baby.. or got to say Goodbye to him.
also, its hard sometimes, when people don't acknowledge him, I think that is because they also never got to see him..
I dont think I will ever "get over" what happened, but eacy day and year that passes, is a little easier than the one before.. and The ONLY thing that keeps me on a positive note about it, is the fact that I will see him some day, and hold him when I get to heaven...

So today, I am honoring his life, even though it was very short.. but he is always in my heart!!

This sonogram picture is the only thing I have to remember him by, I treasure it, and I keep it in my room so I can look at it, and think about him often!